China

Tonight my dad gave me 6 sets of this china. Each set includes a dinner plate, tea cup, and saucer. They are Churchill in the Classic Blue Willow pattern and made in England. They're really not worth all that much (maybe $20 a set) but they are a small bit of what my Grandma Barb and Pop used to collect in the way of antiques and home pieces. There is a bit of history with them. The dinnerware was made in the 80s and 90s and sold in many grocery stores. The pattern is oriental and has a very interesting history which you can read more about here.
I hope for them to be well loved in my house, which I daily dream of decorating and cooking in. I can picture sitting around the table in a few years, sipping some Earl Grey with girlfriends and eating crepes or waffles or fresh fruit and scones. For now, they will join my strawberry yogurt glasses and other odds and ends that are wanting a place of their own in my future abode.

A River Runs Through It

I remember the last sermon I ever heard my father give, not long before his own death:"Each one of us here today will, at one time in our lives, look upon a loved one in need and ask the same question: We are willing Lord, but what, if anything, is needed? For it is true that we can seldom help those closest to us. Either we don’t know what part of ourselves to give, or more often than not, that part we have to give... is not wanted. And so it is those we live with and should know who elude us... But we can still love them... We can love—completely—even without complete understanding..."
Now, nearly all those I loved and did not understand in my youth are dead, even Jessie. But I still reach out to them... When I am alone in the half-light of the canyon, all existence seems to fade away to a being with my soul and memories of the sounds of the Big Blackfoot River, and a four-count rhythm, and the hopes that a fish will rise.Eventually all things merge into one, and a river runs through it. The river was cut by the earth’s great flood and runs over the rocks from the basement of time. On some of the rocks are timeless raindrops. Under the rocks are the words. And some of the words are theirs. 'I am haunted by waters.

Screens

Metal mesh that keeps out bugs
I can handle those;
Pliable bendable breathable.
But we've invented new screens,
Backlit backdrop desktops,
And we use them not as breezeways
Instead as blockades

I'm guilty too, so please don't think
I wrote this as a critique of just you.
My screen can dim in darkness,
Careful not to keep my roommate up at night
A cursor blinks ready for swift fingers
To send it whizzing through pages,
Faster than I flip through books anymore.
It has seen the profane, taken part in tainting
Useful in displaying to the world
My apathy, cynicism, and brains.

These screens we all run behind remind
Me of the days we had a sliding back door
To enter into a world
Of breezes, pollen, playing.
But screens are not any longer membranes of going
My family keeps retreating
I keep believing
The world in this half centimeter thick
Piece of plastic technologic
Tricks
Is a brighter and more fun one
Than what lies beyond curtains, glass and metal mesh
Which can be unlatched and slid and undone.

Screens keep blinding me,
Instead of the sun beyond them inviting me
To rediscover conversation,
Minutia and relation.
All around they glare,
Spinning my mind around
Confused and searching and wanting
And lonely in every way and everywhere.

Even now I'm writing, cowering and
Not fighting
Behind a screen of backlight white
Publish, power down, and sleep.
Press my nose against the screen that keeps the
Winter rain from flooding in,
Feel drops become freckles
And remember that I have a face that needs to face
The world unscreened, full on
Flesh covered and
Seen.

Getting There.

I have driven three 12 hour trips in the past month. Each of them has been different and at times unexpected.

On the first, I had my first flat tire ever on the highway 30 minutes from school. My driver's side front tire completely blew out at about 55 MPH and I was able to successfully get over 3 lanes and onto the shoulder. Our spare was flat, so thank goodness for insurance, the repair man they sent out filled it up for us and changed our tire. On a doughnut we drove back to school, the wrong direction in my head, and slept on campus for an extra night. In the morning we got the tire changed and then went to fill up at the gas station. Pulling out of the gas station, my left rear tire went flat. I pulled into the Waffle House parking lot and Robert changed it to the spare. We returned to the Walmart and got all new tires. The flats happened exactly 12 hours apart from each other. 9:01pm and 9:01am.

The trip back to school was fine except for the traffic we got stuck in and a few squabbles born of being in a confined space for too long. The day started with stalling in the Sanderson parking lot and praying our car could make the trip ahead. Eager to get home for Christmas though, I got my first ever speeding ticket. I now owe the state of Virginia $121. I had gotten around a slow car and was in the left lane going down a hill and looking ahead to pass some trucks. I came over the hill alone in the left lane, saw the cleverly veiled cop car, looked the cop basically in the eye, and couldn't even brake before he pulled out behind me. I was going 80mph in a 70 so I can't even be mad. He was nice and let me off easier than he could have. After we dropped David off in Baltimore our low oil level light came on and the last 2 hours to home was one filled with little heart attacks on my part as every jump in my engine made me fear breaking down.

God's teaching me through these trials. Lots of things. I am not in control of everything no matter how much I want to be. He never leaves or forsakes me (he's provided safety and help and comfort through it all). We can't forgo the journey for the destination, because often the lesson is in the journey itself. We don't reach some point of realization in the distant future, but God is molding us at every turn. It took a lot for me to not get out of my car and scream profanities after the second flat and the ticket. That's exactly what I wanted to do, but God gave me peace. As we drove back to school the first time, Ruthie sang Be Still My Soul from her hymnal. I spent the entire 12 hour drive this time praying. He says, ask and you shall receive. I knew he was going to get us home in one piece, and he did! I didn't know I'd get a ticket though. Life doesn't go how I plan, no matter how meticulously I calculate. God's plan is so much grander and more beautiful, for which He is to be exalted and praised immeasurably.

I'm grateful for journeys, and the lessons that come with living through moments. As Jim Elliot said, "Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God." 

Lord, I need thee. Every hour I need thee. 

Christmas Countdown!

 My roommate is wonderful and decorated our room for Christmas. I love it! These pictures are shamelessly stolen from her instagram.

Twenty One Pilots

Last night Hannah and I drove down to Atlanta for the Twenty One Pilots show at Vinyl Atlanta. The opening bands were The Silver Comet from ATL and The Rocketboys from TX. The venue was intimate and we were pressed against a stage that came up only to our waists, close enough to both receive high fives from Tyler Joseph and feel the waves of sound go through us from Josh Dun's drumset. The band comes from Columbus, OH and being from Cincinnati, Hannah introduced me to them this semester. They have quickly become my favorite band of the year. When asked to describe their sound I always end up saying something confusing like "College rock rappers with clever lyrics, a piano and drumset, mosh with your mom music." See?

At the show last night Josh did a backflip into the crowd right next to Hannah, they did a drum dual in the middle of the crowd, Tyler was successfully awkward and adorable at the same time, and they brought the house down. They played both Trees and Car Radio which are beautiful and deep. They "encored" with Guns for Hands and we all just went crazy jumping and screaming, hair and sweat flinging. It was awesome. This was an especially exciting show because there were only about 100-150 people there and it was the first concert that I had gone to because I really liked the band and was willing to drive to see them. Hopefully there will be more concerts like this in my future. 

I really like Twenty One Pilots because they don't follow conventional musical formats. Their lyrics are fun but also really serious and intelligent. The duo is quick to remind you that they are just human too and we're all broken and struggling. Their friendship is strong and that is especially evident on stage with their witty banter and body language. 

My suggestions for songs to get stuck in your head are Addict with a Pen and Migraine. Check them out!

Water, water, everywhere,
Nor any drop to drink. (Rime of the Ancient Mariner)

And then I was reminded tonight at the open mic that we are invited to feast on God's water. There is living water. There is water from stones (Ex.17). There is the thirst quenching, life giving, love of God.
There is hurt, so much hurt.
But he's coming back soon and we feel it and our souls groan and ache because it's so close. We hope in truth. We groan in anticipation. Of a loved one who has been on a long trip. Nothing will hold us back from running straight into His arms.

Come thou long expected Jesus.

pashmina, chai latte, pink morning horizon, joy that comes not from my own being, grace that makes everything possible and endless, list making, poem dreaming, annie dillard reading, singing, humming, peanut butter dripping, panicking, breathing, snacking, robust laughter.

TO YOU

WHO LEAST NEED REMINDING

that before this interval of the South Branch under black mountains, there was another interval, the Upper at Plymouth, where we walked in spring beyond the covered bridge; but that the first interval of all was the old farm,our brook interval, so called by the man we had it from in sale. -Robert Frost



red leaves fall on green graves

I made a visit to David's grave today to leave some flowers (Gerber Daisies...my fav) and eat some sushi for lunch in my car. Forest Hills Cemetery is beautiful this time of year and I had been meaning to make a visit sooner. I'm grateful for this place which kind of freaks me out because I used to hate the idea of memorializing the dead and while I still don't particularly agree with gross displays such as the Fouche mausoleum, I left a flower for Blanche too. Graveyards are definitely a thing for the living. I'm drawn to Forest Hills because it reminds me how little I will leave behind and that most of it will not be all that important. I don't even remember why I was drawn to David's grave (probably the hilarious surname), but I do remember thinking how crazy it was that I could only compile a small biography on a man of public importance in Chattanooga. He didn't leave behind a personality or any sentiments...just some facts and a lineage. Places like this should remind us of our ultimate humanity and the perfection of Jesus' life, character, and legacy.

 

Room Tour: Gracewell 348

View from the door. I love our setup. My bed is on the right.

My closet door (left side). Katie Daisy designs, Prague metro tickets, Chattanooga postcards, a modern painting from a Santa Fe magazine, Newark photos, Grandparents, and a Georgia O'Keeffe print.

Collection of artwork form Missy's munchkins

Above my bed: Dreaming of water and docks. Kalmar Nyckle photo, a J. Crew ad that says "Sun-Faded Oxfords," keys from Bakertree last year, and a favorite Katie Daisy print.

View from sitting on my bed: skirt lamp, bookshelf, CH Vogue ad, Beasts of the Southern Wild newspaper clipping, twins on the horse tree picture, Cesky Budejovice postcards, Trend firefly cutout

The cupboard Missy sold me last year. Lots of mugs to share!

Hannah's bed/side and what I wakeup to every morning. Love that girl!

Windowsill. Mason jar, Cheerwine bottle, vase, Sally, pinwheels from James and Waverly's wedding

Our inviting and colorful door! Come on in!

Hodge Podge

Last Friday, after the Inauguration of President Halvorson (for which we were given a day off), Rachel K, Hannah, Madi, Elisabeth, Alicia, Erika, KatieBeth and I drove over to Signal Mountain for their annual craft fair/ farmer's market. It was great fun and I picked up a few lovely things from some of the vendors.

• 2 hairbows (green and blue) $1 each
• Sweet Salsa Rita from a lovely woman. It's gluten free b/c she has celiac's and so scrumptious. $2.50 a jar.
• A sea green pearl necklace and small starfish charm. (1st and favorite purchase) $8
• Turqouise drop earrings $5
• Handmade wooden vase. Wormy Maple wood. Artist: sweetest old man named Mr. Ross $15

:To Share

• Yogurt, fruit, and granola. I personally am obsessed with the Archer Farms (Target) Chocolate Chunk Hazlenut Biscotti Granola. So yummy! I usually pair it with vanilla yogurt, sliced peaches, and occassionally strawberries.
• Writing down all of your assignments and deadlines for the week on a brightly colored notecard keeps you on top of everything and happy to look at it/ cross things off. Mine fits perfectly into my little calendar book.
• Look at the Related Artists on Spotify. You could discover wonderful things like Beta Radio.
• Sleep IS important. You need it to survive and function.

Autumn Plunder

 

 

 My 2 flannel shirts have been worn, not washed, bathed in smoke, and hung every evening on the back of my chair. It's autumn.

I've returned 14 books to the library only to check out more. Todays plunder comes in the form of this list and the subsequent photograph.

1. Footnote (2011) Hebrew, Portuguese, 106minutes
2. Summer Hours (2008) Criterion Collection, French, 103 min
3. Domesticating History: The Political Origins of America's House Museums by Patricia West
4. Fox on Wheels by Edward Marshall (reminds me of Robert)
5. When I Was Young in the Mountains by Cynthia Rylant
6. Georgia Music by Helen V. Griffith
7. Crow Call by Lois Lowry
8. Mountain Wedding by Faye Gibbons
9. Louhi: Witch of North Farm by Toni de Gerez
10. The Tale of Three Trees by Angela Elwell Hunt



Pleasant Pages

 

 

Working at my school's library has become a danger to myself and others. A danger to me because I currently have 20 books checked out and no time to read any of them. A danger to others because I beg them to let me read stories to them on a regular basis.

I love the simple joy of a picture book and have been taking the time to read old favorites and new and wonderful stories.

 

Here's what I currently have checked out from Kresge:

•  Many Moons by James Thurber
• Caps For Sale by Esphyr Slobodkina (I recently read this to Birch, Iris, and Laurel; it was a gift from their former babysitter and they LOVE it).
• The Quiet Book by Deborah Underwood (best line is "'What flashlight?' quiet."
• George and Martha One Fine Day by James Marshall (Lyss and Rachel C read these to each other and it warms my heart)
• Home by Thomas Locker
• The Mountains of Quilt by Nancy Willard (seriously the funniest book I have read in a while)
• Goggles! by Ezra Jack Keats
• Blackout by John Rocco
• Little Pea by Amy Krouse Rosenthal
• A River of Words by Jen Bryant (a William Carlos Williams biography in the form of a picture book!)
• A Chair for my Mother by Vera B. Williams
• I See the Winds by Kazue Mizumura
• Adelita by Tomie dePaola
• Fin M'Coul by Tomie dePaola
• Jamie O'Rourke and the Big Potato by Tomie dePaola (I so wish I could find a dePaola anthology...favorite illustrator ever.)

I am so grateful lately for words and stories and the passing down of these things to our children. So, if you ever want to read a story, please stop by and I'll drop just about anything to listen or read along.

Build Me a World

I've been anticipating seeing Fancy Rhino's documentary of the historic Howard School for nearly the entire summer. What I hadn't anticipated was being so emotional broken by the film, the students and their stories, and my own sinful nature. If you have the chance....WATCH IT! One of the most beautiful parts of the evening for me was hearing Mimi talk about Elie Wiesel's speech "The Perils of Indifference." I memorized a portion of it for my senior seminar class with Mr. Mulqueen (my own Mr. West) and haven't thought about it in quite a while. The thoughtfulness of all the Howard students that came up to campus tonight was amazing. I honestly believe that they have so much potential, and gifts greater than my own in areas. I can't wait to taste D'Angelo's chocolate at the Chattanooga Market. I will be praying for them all as they pursue success (defined by them as the ability to turn around and give back, stability enough to pull up their peers). I am encouraged by them. I will continue to be. What an awesome community God has blessed me with! I'm still reeling from this experience, and I pray that God would fuel more questions in my heart about my role as a white middle class Covenant student on the mountain. In what ways can I pursue relationships and friendships in contexts that are unlike my own and drag me out of my comfort zone? As Derelle kept saying, "Time is more important than money."

Some quotes from "The Perils of Indifference" :

Gratitude is a word that I cherish. Gratitude is what defines the humanity of the human being.

 What is indifference? Etymologically, the word means "no difference." A strange and unnatural state in which the lines blur between light and darkness, dusk and dawn, crime and punishment, cruelty and compassion, good and evil. What are its courses and inescapable consequences? Is it a philosophy? Is there a philosophy of indifference conceivable? Can one possibly view indifference as a virtue? Is it necessary at times to practice it simply to keep one's sanity, live normally, enjoy a fine meal and a glass of wine, as the world around us experiences harrowing upheavals?
Of course, indifference can be tempting -- more than that, seductive. It is so much easier to look away from victims. It is so much easier to avoid such rude interruptions to our work, our dreams, our hopes. It is, after all, awkward, troublesome, to be involved in another person's pain and despair. Yet, for the person who is indifferent, his or her neighbor are of no consequence. And, therefore, their lives are meaningless. Their hidden or even visible anguish is of no interest. Indifference reduces the other to an abstraction.

 At the forum after the screening Howard Principal Paul Smith said, "It's nice to be important; but it's more important to be nice." 

"There is a pleasure in the pathless woods,
There is a rapture on the lonely shore,
There is society, where none intrudes,
By the deep sea, and music in its roar:
I love not man the less, but Nature more,
From these our interviews, in which I steal
From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal"
                                                         - Lord Byron

"Pond in the woods" by Georgia O'keeffe

:To Share

• Improvise recipes. You may be pleasantly surprised! But be sure to write down what you did. And if you don't have the utensils called for, try to see if you can accomplish the same result with something else. Your zucchini bread might just be chunky instead of with slivers, but just as delicious.
• Make hot chocolate that is way too hot to drink, then throw in 2-3 frozen strawberries as ice cubes. So good! Tastes like chocolate covered strawberries.
• Take advantage of community gardens.
• Pick wildflowers. Black-eyed Susans, sweet peas, lavender, daisies, etc. Seriously worth it to brighten up a room.
• Suede shoes. I now own 4 pairs in various colors including mustard, burgundy, and mint. Invest.

Charley

“For how can one know color in perpetual green, and what good is warmth without cold to give it sweetness?” 

Gulala and I have begun reading Travels with Charley aloud after work. We're about 1/4 of the way in and it's just what I needed to break out of this chill. The words of John's journey have started to roll off my tongue with ease again and with the aid of chamomille and honey, my tongue is slick between my teeth with wit and wonder. Divine evenings of reading after long walks.

steinbeck and pond water. eyeko olive liner. sprigs of lavender in my hair, behind my ear, tracing circles on my wrists till I giggle. stacks of used books. juicy plums bitten into after retrieving them from the fridge. heat lightning. lewis' bus ride. a light bulb symphony and the 2 kay(e)s. blackberry peach swirl pound cake. cliff jumping  and firework 5ks. imagine dragons. figs and brie on sesame crackers. tuxedo shirt wedding waiter. pilaf and fish."an education" and some dark chocolate to soothe. fried rice fails

Parts of me you'd just write off as juvenile and silly. Cute little girl with a head full of dreams and a foolish taste for desire. Well who's walking above the clouds and taking snapshots of full bodied fresh life, now? ME.

Our Valley
Philip Levine

We don't see the ocean, not ever, but in July and August

when the worst heat seems to rise from the hard clay

of this valley, you could be walking through a fig orchard

when suddenly the wind cools and for a moment

you get a whiff of salt, and in that moment you can almost

believe something is waiting beyond the Pacheco Pass,

something massive, irrational, and so powerful even

the mountains that rise east of here have no word for it.

You probably think I'm nuts saying the mountains

have no word for ocean, but if you live here

you begin to believe they know everything.

They maintain that huge silence we think of as divine,

a silence that grows in autumn when snow falls

slowly between the pines and the wind dies

to less than a whisper and you can barely catch

your breath because you're thrilled and terrified.

You have to remember this isn't your land.

It belongs to no one, like the sea you once lived beside

and thought was yours. Remember the small boats

that bobbed out as the waves rode in, and the men

who carved a living from it only to find themselves

carved down to nothing. Now you say this is home,

so go ahead, worship the mountains as they dissolve in dust,

wait on the wind, catch a scent of salt, call it our life.

Turkey Rattlesnake Bites with fresh guac

This summer should really just be called: "Sam cooks her way through Pinterest and sometimes ventures into Google search for recipe equivalents."
Tonight for dinner I made my own variation of this recipe. Which is pinned to my "Rumbly Tumbly" board.
I made a few adjustments, and downsized the recipe (8 instead of 24) which was an experiment in itself (I made enough filling upon guestimations for about 10 rolls). Instead of beef, I used some of the ground turkey I got at Costco which has served me so well. I also threw in some red onions (about 1/2c. and a whole jalapeno...which cost me 20cents!)
 You know the drill; Here is the process in pictures.

Red onion, chili powder, cumin....while the turkey is cooking in a skillet.

Fresh whole jalapeno.

Store brand crescent rolls. Mixture with cream cheese.

2 avocados and a packet of Simply Organic guac mix. MMM

Finished products. 8 rattlesnake bites. Should last me for 4 meals on their own. 8 if eaten with rice, corn, and beans.

Paired with guac and sour creme to cut the heat. They were DELICIOUS! Easy potluck recipe for the future?

ANNNNNDDDDDD: They paired PERFECTLY with a cold bottle of Kofola. Czech Coke equivalent with a slight licorice taste and less sugar.

Blackberry Swirl Pound Cake

I had a whole tupperware container full of blackberries leftover in the freezer and so with the power of Google searched around for a good bread recipe. Martha Stewart provided the best recipe and I was quite happy with the outcome! Here is the recipe. I definitely used too many blackberries and mine was less marbled and more glazed.....but still delicious!

The last few steps are to alternate batter and blackberry puree, but I had too much puree and not enough batter. Some burned on the edges, but it was still tasty. Next time: over mix the batter and puree to marbleize.

I also baked a pink lemonade cake for GNO with the River City ladies. I had a LOT of cake, so I made a heart on the top. It is from a box.

Online Shopping

Filled up a journal!

A well loved gift from Tyler.

So I bought the same thing in a different pattern. (Slate Blooms Vera Bradley Life in Progress Journal) Love it!

100 Pantone postcards

Oh, yes!

Grandmother Bread with Fresh Wild Blueberries

Edit: Graham told me these are actually Huckleberries. Good to know. But still just as yummy. 

My mom showed me this blog ages ago and I'm sure I probably scoffed at the time. But you know, usually she is right. And especially when it comes to baking and farm blog reading. So today while searching for a bread recipe to utilize the wild blueberries I had picked, I of course stumbled across her simple and delicious recipe. So here's my version of Grandmother Bread with Fresh Berries. I cannot wait to go out on the Bluff and pick more berries!

Blueberry branch to show off the leaves. Blueberries amongst some black raspberries. The fruits of today's labor.

Wild blueberries separated.

Dough. First kneading.

Had to add some frozen blueberries too, to make the recipe requirements.

Mid rising.

The sunset from Halcyon commons is ALWAYS to die for.

After I moved it from a round cake pan to this sheet. It wasn't baking right.

A little doughy. Next time, make 2 loaves!

Blossom honey and butter. mmmmm

 

Second helpings and to share.