punctuation's punching bag

. . .
Each period a punch in the stomach
The end of a thought
Brooded over
Stripped of all emotion

Three lines after three months
Phantom pains , your bullet holes.

Shrieking Snow Dances

 

"God gave us memories so that we might have roses in December."

:To Share

• Gilmore Girls snow episodes at the first sign of flurries. Last night we watched "Women of Questionable Morals" and "Bracebridge Dinner".
•  Every college student should own an 'ugly' Christmas sweater. Try Goodwill, Collective Clothing, or other thrift stores. I got mine in Salisbury for $3.75 and even though I still want one with an awkward reindeer or Santa on it, this is pretty great too.
  
•  Hang out in other buildings and on other halls (it bears repeating). Listen to life stories.
• Hot chocolate and Chai tea are surefire ways to warm up cold hands after snowball fights. Share.
• Your metal AC unit is dry erase marker friendly. It's a great place for magnets, tally charts, notes from friends, and stick figure drawings. 
• Candle warmer! The best way to invite tantalizing scents into your room. $5 at Walmart.
  
  
             As another note/shareable item, I am doing Advent for the first time ever this year. And today, November 29th is the first night of the Advent season. Lyss and I (and other girls on our hall on occassion) will be working through Ann Voskamp's Jesse Tree Journey Advent Celebration. It's a free PDF file by a great author, and well worth printing out. I've made mine into a small book/journal and am so stoked about it. Season's Greetings! The file can be found here. Check out Ann Voskamp here as well.
  
  

I got some information about the Mason MA in the History of Decorative Arts program at the Smithsonian today in the mail. It included the latest edition of Smithsonian Associate (a magazine detailing lectures, exhibits, and classes for the month). On the front is a picture of Adam G. Riess, Novel Prize winner and astrophysicist. He gave a lecture this month at the Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory on the nature of dark matter. I was reminded of you and how close our worlds actually are. I'd send you the article: If I cared to spend the money on postage for it.

: To Share

I've decided to start a new section on my blog, the idea for which is completely taken from Katie's "Tips for Tim." It will be tips and thoughts from dorm life that I think others might like to hear. Things that I have learned and need to be shared.

• The way your room smells can be a great way to invite a little home inside. Glade scented oil warmers work wonders! (especially against the odors of laundry time, shoes, and coffee filters in the trash can) You might even consider switching up the scent per season. Right now we have Apple Cinnamon and it is delightful.
• Whenever there is free coffee in Third Lobby, grab an empty tumbler or cup and fill it up to stick in the fridge. Ice cubes, coffee, cream, and sugar make for a great study break iced beverage.
• Open packages alone. If possible, don't let people see you carry them in. It takes all the joy out of opening a package from a loved one when you feel guilty that someone sent it to you, when others don't get mail. Although extremely rude, but kind of inevitable with a large box, people will become grabby when they see food or homemade cookies. It's even more upsetting when you are so excited about your package, but someone laughs at its contents. Savor your mail alone. Share what you may not eat/use.....but take time to discover the contents of your box first.  
• Pandora stations are your best friend. Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam are musts. My stations include: Christmas, Classical, Don Ross (aucoustic guitar), Disney, Christian Contemporary, Mumford and Sons, Jonsi, Top 40, Dubstep, Frank Sinatra, Olafur Arnalds, Boy Bands, and Company of Thieves. They cover a range of moods and settings and allow for amazing new music discoveries.
• Star charts, even if begun with good intentions, do not foster community.

Angelfaced Marine Man Talk

Tacked to my wall is the black and white photo of a man's face. His left hand is draped across his cheek so you can see his wedding band, but his fingers do not hide his eye. In green sharpie is written A Face is Worth A Thousand Words. His lips are stamped with the word contempt. His brow furrowed with the word hurt in a scrawling cursive. His bottom lip is closed against his upper jaw with the word guilt below. His Adam's apple has fear written in capital letters, boldly. The crease between his nostril and the edge of his cheek has the tiny printing of the word disdain. In green, ego and pride are stamped across his eyes, fading in the dark of his pupils and becoming vibrantly colored once again as the edges of some letters rest atop the whites.
Today he was a brother next to him. I've tacked a printed photograph of Cpl. Andrew Marrari from BLT after sophomore year. He holds our 'guidon' in his right hand. The hood of his digicam jacket casts a shadow across his eyes. He is not smiling. But Marines rarely do. In this picture though, I know he is covering a smile with his bearing. His left hand hangs limply next to his thigh, no snapping to attention here. The grass behind him in the picture is covered in mud and new rain. The sky barely visible in the corner of the photograph is a hazy grey. The Evergreen trees of Morgantown's mountains are vibrant in the background. His olive drab nearly matches.
Women aren't the only ones who question themselves. No matter how strong the man is, there's probably something that makes him cry. Actually, I know there is. It's not a probably.
Something inside of Corporal made him hurt so badly that he hung himself. And everyday I wonder if anyone out there knew what hurt inside.

By tacking these two images above where I lay my feet every night, I am reminded to pray. And my prayer is this "Lord make straight the paths that crooked lie. Let me be a vessel for your grace to my brothers and sisters. Allow me to be the one people will take their masks off for. I don't need to know everything. I just want others to know how much you love them. Because you love me. Ease the pain in his parent's hearts. Let them see you in his memory. Let them seek YOU in their wandering. Lord, sometimes I still feel lost thinking about the December day I heard of his suicide. I didn't feel you there then. But I wasn't looking. I was brushing your comfort off of my shoulder blade, and pouring out my own tears as an attempt at healing salve. Thank you for Andrew's life. And may his memory glorify you even in his death. Semper Fi. To you, Almighty. Semper Fi to you."

The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds

Tonight's college escapade was going to see some of my great friends in Paul Zindel's most well known play, The Effects of Gamma Rays on Man-in-the-Moon Marigolds. Cassidy, Nyssa, and Jordan all had vibrant roles and I was incredibly proud to know them and then hug them in congratulations after the final curtain. Rob (from my brother hall) was the stage manager, and I found the transitions and overall management of the show to be really well done. Featuring a live rabbit, which Cassidy as Tillie whispered to oh so soothingly, the show brought me to tears in the second act.
This autobiographical drama is one of the first shows that I have seen which so deeply shows how people's actions can hurt others. The mother in this movie, Betty is one of the most poignant characters of a small scale production I've ever seen.
Yet again, Covenant has wowed me with their stage shows. Small but powerful and moving. I had tears in my eyes at the end. A sad script, but a moving moral: hope. Tillie's unfailing hope is remarkable.

Travels. Journeys.

In my lifetime, I want to go to the Yi Peng Lantern Festival in Thailand. The Lanna people of Northern Thailand celebrate with sky lanterns every full moon of the 2nd month of the Lanna calendar. In Chiang Mai, the largest festival is held. The festival is meant as a time for "tham bun" or making merit. It is a symbol of letting your worries go. I really want to go to Chiang Mai and set free a lit rice paper lantern before I die!!!

 

But this May, I am more than grateful! I will be in the beautiful city of Prague, Czech Republic. Not only will I be living in this historic and lovely city for 2+ weeks, I will be able to spread the love of Jesus and the good news of his death and resurrection to the hurting youth of the area. Let the spiritually dead come alive again and be set on fire for the Lord!

Served Over Ice

Served Over Ice.
By Hillary Eames

I’m not a warm person;
Not in the sense that
I am a person you would sit in front of
after shoveling snow,

Nor would you wrap me around yourself
and hug me to your chest
As you sit in front of a window, weather-watching.

I am not welcoming,
not in the sense of the rug worn with age
Raw with the grinding of heels.

I am not a dog
that leaps onto two legs
and greets you with a grin.

But neither am I the winter chill
that you turn your collar against,
and I’m certainly not the frozen lake
you skate across in the park.

I am not the frigid blast of water
as you first enter the shower,
and I could never, ever, ever be a glacier.

Rather, I am the glass of lemonade
sitting out on the veranda
And the bowl of peach sorbet
sweating in the sun,
staying quite cold until you come
and melt me.

My encouragement, my friend, a beautiful girl. Thank you Hillary for writing this. People need to see it. You can check out her tumblr here: http://bricksandbeliefs.tumblr.com/

The Perils of Being a PushOVER

I have a problem:
I don't have the word NO in my vocabulary.

I could list all the reasons I think I have this tendency, but rather I think I'll just list examples of how I daily let myself get walked all over.
-I give literally Everyone who asks a ride (and never ever ask for gas money, despite being more broke than the avg. college student)
-I always offer food. The Ramen box my mom sent me was eaten mostly by my hallmates to whom I gave free reign of my food stock. It saddens me. Because I usually don't get dinner on Wed nights now.
-I give up my time to talk, even when I am freaking out about my own stuff.
-I think I'm a pretty generous roommate. but really the only thing I begged for was to unbunk our beds.
-I hand out stationary, stamps, and craft supplies to my hallmates that never reciprocate.
-If Brian calls me about working at DCM, I won't know how to deny him and I'll end up working 2 jobs over Christmas break.
-Dylan and I's relationship.......... Even my no's were quickly overturned.
-People are ALWAYS (all hours of the day) welcomed onto my bed to study or talk, and I end up getting NOTHING done. But I don't want to kick people out, because that doesn't foster community.

Maybe I'm just kind and generous. I could say no to things, but I'm terrified of being percieved as stingy or rude. (You can't take it with you when you die anyway). Please pray that I learn some discernment. and grow a freaking backbone. Spazz attack: hafoahpqornfhbfo;afabpo; vtf;EFAAHBGLB JASDVNBASD GLIs;ogWOGOI'WAFHIOe;a!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DO PEOPLE EVEN HEAR ME WHEN I TALK? I try so hard to be heard, and intelligent in my comments, but I always without fail, just get blank stares. The stupid girl who wasn't raised in the church.