Junior Year: I'm getting closer than I'd like to that age they consider you an adult at. I don't know that I want to grow up. Given Wendy's choice...I would've stayed in Neverland. I would go live with the mermaids in the lagoon. But I don't know maybe not..they act just like high school prisses. Or maybe I'd rather live with the Lost Boys; play the mommy figure. Why does a Disney movie seem happier than real life? Maybe because it allows it's characters to skirt responsibility. So this year I'm branching out, I'm sitting with new people at lunch, I'm being involved with different types of people, I went to the first football game, I have a shot at getting a date for Military Ball (well I don't know, but I can hope.) Everything is changing around me and the days are slipping by, with longing for the bell to ring and everyone to be dismissed to their buses. When did education become such a watered down monotonous mess? I'm talking to people in the hallways instead of scurrying on to my next class and being the first one in her seat for calculus. This is new for me. I feel renewed, a revival. The politics of tomorrow excite me. The promise of history enthralls me. I'm reading and writing, reminiscing and experiencing new things. Spare me your dollars, I have the change of adolescence. Wow that was cheesy. And yes being obsessed with things like finger paint is pretty juvenile. But I'm finally comfortable with myself and my actions.
Scarborough-isms: (Because he seriously conducts my favorite class in the most hilarious manner)
1. "Yeah cotton gins, the things that look like they should be strapped to some poor soul's head in a Saw movie."
2. "Imagine Henry Clay as an 18th century superhero except he's got a monocle, smokes cigars, and brokers deals."
3. "This tariff will be a fly in the ointment. A real irritation if you will."
4. " 'Harrumph!' Yes that's what they said, it's a fact. They stuck out their chests and said Harrumph! You can look it up."
P.S. This is the response in part to Bree's perfect man post (Maybe at some point I will expound upon this, but not now. I think this defines him enough):
All Caps Band - More than Alive"I love Holding your hands when we're here at this rock show
And I love Watching you save the princess in Super Mario 3
And I love Making grilled cheese sandwiches and sharing them with you
...
And I love Getting beat by you in tetris 'cause you're freaking good
And I love you-ooo."
But don't think that this barely scratches the surface. I just think anyone who would sing those words is worth a shot. Because life is about the little things you do with your love because the perfect one already shares your important beliefs. So based on the mutual religion and politics, the little things evolve. I'm not gonna get burned, thanks, cause I know exactly what I am looking for and I will settle for absolutely nothing less. So there, you're proven wrong buttercup. I know me and Jesus knows him, and one day God will place us in the right place at EXACTLY the right time. These notions aren't juvenile...these are the most mature things a girl my age can possibly believe and I honestly don't care if you agree.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Security Blankets and Confessions
-On my desk is a wide array of knickknacks. And it's sad to admit, but this Bronzed Peach covergirl lipstick lying next to my computer is a security blanket. So is this clutter. I cannot stand to have bare walls. On each of the 4 is something meaningful. Alicia says my room is tripping on acid. That's a fair assessment. I have 3 sets of crayons. (24, 64, 120) I have 2 sets of markers, a bin of gel pens, chalk and oil pastels, as well as copious amounts of paper. That's why I draw you these pathetic jokes. I like bringing smiles.
-The music of the day has been All Caps and Ministry of Magic on repeat. Snazzy. I bet you don't know who those bands are. But they define my life. Because what could be better than listening to music about eating brains? "And sometimes consequences define your life with hardship. Will goodness will be the banner you raise?"
-It's autumn. When the streetlights turn on after dinner I am going to drag my bike out of the cobwebs in our garage and go riding. It feels like a movie. Now if only I could find that person to lay in the road with.... It'd smell like damp leaves and we'd feel infinite like in Wallflowers. But honestly despite these ramblings, things are gonna change and we're gonna have to adjust. No amount of mascara and perfume can remedy those relations. Cryptic,eh?
-The music of the day has been All Caps and Ministry of Magic on repeat. Snazzy. I bet you don't know who those bands are. But they define my life. Because what could be better than listening to music about eating brains? "And sometimes consequences define your life with hardship. Will goodness will be the banner you raise?"
-It's autumn. When the streetlights turn on after dinner I am going to drag my bike out of the cobwebs in our garage and go riding. It feels like a movie. Now if only I could find that person to lay in the road with.... It'd smell like damp leaves and we'd feel infinite like in Wallflowers. But honestly despite these ramblings, things are gonna change and we're gonna have to adjust. No amount of mascara and perfume can remedy those relations. Cryptic,eh?
Thursday, September 10, 2009
My fortune is grammatically incorrect. MLIA "Your are a traveler at heart. There will be many journeys." Thank you cookie friend, after stuffing myself you make me happier than anything.
Thank you God for this laughter. Yes I am laughing at others, but that's why you gave me them right? Kids say just the darndest things. And I love the DMA for that.
And now for a new segment: Scarborough-isms. Yay!
Because I am really gonna love this history class. and his serious face.
Thank you God for this laughter. Yes I am laughing at others, but that's why you gave me them right? Kids say just the darndest things. And I love the DMA for that.
And now for a new segment: Scarborough-isms. Yay!
Because I am really gonna love this history class. and his serious face.
"So when you were little kids who tried to dig a hole to China? *a few kids raise their hands* Same here!"
"America isn't about freedom, it's about dolla dollar bills y'all."
While discussing cash crops, "Your family isn't just going to go out and gnaw on a sweater."
"America isn't about freedom, it's about dolla dollar bills y'all."
While discussing cash crops, "Your family isn't just going to go out and gnaw on a sweater."
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
You didn't tell me and I definitely understand why. But I'm here for you if you need me. I'd do anything for you, even if it involved gallons of ice cream. Wait that's me. We grow and change, but this bond can't be broken. I can't help feeling guilty, but I know you love me anyway. Thank you best friend, blood brother; twin. You're the best thing that ever happened to me, and those 4 minutes in the lonely world, I was lost without you. I love you.
On our best days we're animals, and we'll stand together forever, because this is absolute.
Tidbits
Fishbowl classrooms: A little gift from heaven.
Digging for gold? the world can see you unassuming weirdo. Seriously, what could be better than a wall of windows in a well lit, well organized classroom, where butterflies run into the windows and you can see all the hilarity that ensues outside between the buildings? It's a distraction, but it helps me concentrate. Oximoronic much? Now if only I didn't feel so terribly out of place with CP kids and they could fix my schedule to give me the correct honors class....darn you honors calc and your torture.
We were asked the question today of who is our all time favorite character in literature of any type. How am I supposed to answer that with an array of loveable soulmates and friends like Briony Tallis, Winnie Foster, Pudge Halter, Hamlet and Ophelia, Rosencrantz and Gildenstern, Holden Caulfield? But I fell back on an older friend...one I've known for years. Zinny Taylor, of Chasing Redbird. She was the first real person Sharon Creech introduced me to. And then I fell in love with Guthrie. Oh our love affair was brilliant and he was golden. Basically every year I go through my Creech phase again. Redbird, Ruby, Moons, Bloom, and then Granny Torelli. That's the absolute. And I may sound naive; but they will have my heart forever. Oh and excitingly enough, for fun I started to read Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms in english class after the bell and it was grand...and hilarious...and lovely. I need to read Great Expectations again too...because it's a riot and I'm not joking.
Digging for gold? the world can see you unassuming weirdo. Seriously, what could be better than a wall of windows in a well lit, well organized classroom, where butterflies run into the windows and you can see all the hilarity that ensues outside between the buildings? It's a distraction, but it helps me concentrate. Oximoronic much? Now if only I didn't feel so terribly out of place with CP kids and they could fix my schedule to give me the correct honors class....darn you honors calc and your torture.
We were asked the question today of who is our all time favorite character in literature of any type. How am I supposed to answer that with an array of loveable soulmates and friends like Briony Tallis, Winnie Foster, Pudge Halter, Hamlet and Ophelia, Rosencrantz and Gildenstern, Holden Caulfield? But I fell back on an older friend...one I've known for years. Zinny Taylor, of Chasing Redbird. She was the first real person Sharon Creech introduced me to. And then I fell in love with Guthrie. Oh our love affair was brilliant and he was golden. Basically every year I go through my Creech phase again. Redbird, Ruby, Moons, Bloom, and then Granny Torelli. That's the absolute. And I may sound naive; but they will have my heart forever. Oh and excitingly enough, for fun I started to read Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms in english class after the bell and it was grand...and hilarious...and lovely. I need to read Great Expectations again too...because it's a riot and I'm not joking.
So this growing up thing is going fast. or slow? Day 2 feels like I have been there for months. And I am depressed by the monotony of education anymore. read this, memorize that. but I have thoughts and witty banter. So that's how I will spend Chemistry class, making mustache signs at Kelsey and growling at Becki, poking you and generally failing at how many zeros go after the scientific notation.
I'm taking on more responsibility this year and it makes my stomach do backflips, but I like looking like a know-it-all sad to admit. And my black sweater is snazzy. So back off meaniepants...I'm gonna own this town.
Cough drops can make your tongue blue. My mom just walked in with a bright electric blue tongue from a hall's blue ice cough drop. It's a ploy mom...to bring back fun into the lives of sickly adults. I promise.
I still need to mail that package. 
You shuck corn: cute and fake humility; well I say "aww shucks." Correlation? none.
My brother is in Romeo platoon and I am in Juliet platoon this year, oh military school you know us Shakespeare buffs all too well.
Monday, September 7, 2009
Making a bittersweet day perfect: props, cake mix, clothing, best friend, car, musica, puppy love.
Today is sort of sad. The last day of summer and the start of a new year, in terms of education and such. So instead of moping, I made it memorable. Last night I stayed up until 0330 in the morning to finish this stupid summer reading assignment journal. It took literally forever and I couldn't move after only 6 hours of sleep. I need a good 12. 
So when I was awoken this morning, I wanted to cry that my time was starting to really count down. Then my best friend came over and we made cookies and played dress up and everything was perfect. Dressing like hippies, bag ladies, and so much more was the most fun I've had in a while. Sometimes it's better to kick of the serious facade and be blissfully young. We made my favorite cake...red velvet, danced around and put on aprons. Then as an ode to the kiddie backpack my mom refused to buy me; we drew a monster in icing with the saying "Party in my tummy!" on it. Tasty tasty.
So when I was awoken this morning, I wanted to cry that my time was starting to really count down. Then my best friend came over and we made cookies and played dress up and everything was perfect. Dressing like hippies, bag ladies, and so much more was the most fun I've had in a while. Sometimes it's better to kick of the serious facade and be blissfully young. We made my favorite cake...red velvet, danced around and put on aprons. Then as an ode to the kiddie backpack my mom refused to buy me; we drew a monster in icing with the saying "Party in my tummy!" on it. Tasty tasty.
So my room is clean. The insignia and such is on my uniform. I have a bag full of sharpies, my new agenda, summer work, and other fun stuff for the new day tomorrow. Starting at 0500 I'll be in for some serious nerves, the mixed excitement about seeing everyone and remembering to salute in my spasms of glee. My hope is for a very specific homeroom and last block giving me optimal locker spaceage and access. But alas, maybe that won't happen. Tomorrow is the day for the metaphorical best foot forward. And thankfully I won't be doing it in grandpa shoes.
What shall I do for the rest of my evening? Color with my 120 pack, paint my nails, make locker art, help strugglers on their summer work, knit, reflect? Maybe all of the above.
Meet Iggy the Cupcake Man:
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Anxieties
When everyone else went back to school I was so psyched for the school year to begin. I longed for those first 15 minutes in the mess hall trying to figure out who's in my homeroom and giving out hugs like there was no tomorrow. But now I'm not. The feeling hit me spontaneously and I am floored. What if they mess up my schedule again, I hate that? What if I don't have lunch with my friends? What if too much responsibility is thrown at me this year and I am bitter? The summer work I have yet to finish is starting to scare me with its glaring bulk. Summer is drawing to a close and despite my rainbow list, have I done enough? I realized tonight that I hadn't made the trip to the beach all summer. Has this 16th summer counted for the good or the bad? I don't know and we are out of creamsicles.
The tears fall at random spasstic times when I'm not ready for them. Dadda? Gone. Walk me down the aisle, no. I had 2 father-daughter songs picked out and now only get to have one. So the way I see it, I'll cry for a few more years as major milestones in my life zip by and he won't see them...but what's new(?). Then it will come once upon an afternoon, creeping up and all I will have is resentment, like I do for the divorce. That's why the Why Me Lord Tree holds so much emotion. I don't want to be a bitter crone. What's the suggested alternative?
So for the last few days of summer I will be geeking it up with my literature assignment and organizing my bookshelves and desk, buying a new backpack and cooping up inside. I want Monday to have cupcakes and icing and a picnic and flower crowns and sidewalk chalk; maybe I can hope long enough for it to become solid fact. Because Happiness is...and this is The Final Countdown. So kids, I hope your summer was as epic as mine.
So for the last few days of summer I will be geeking it up with my literature assignment and organizing my bookshelves and desk, buying a new backpack and cooping up inside. I want Monday to have cupcakes and icing and a picnic and flower crowns and sidewalk chalk; maybe I can hope long enough for it to become solid fact. Because Happiness is...and this is The Final Countdown. So kids, I hope your summer was as epic as mine.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
After dinner I sat outside with a tall glass of milk and some lovely store bought cookies. The evening was cool and comfortable. My favorite cardigan weather. Momma said I had to eat my cookies out of her sight if I wanted to do the disgusting thing and dunk them in my cold milk. She thinks that about grilled cheese and tomato soup too. hehe...me and my manners. The season of autumnal bliss is drawing in on us. The acorns are starting to fall from our oak tree, and at times if you listen you can hear them crash through the branches as they plummet to the earth. Soon the leaves will change color and I'll want more and more to don some yellow and brown, knit a floppy beret and find some fingerless gloves. I'd be a regular bag-lady.
I've been thinking a lot about my past and future lately. I guess you could just say life in general. What is going on in the world scares me to death and excites me beyond belief. I'm ready to stand up and be counted as a Patriot. It's painful to admit, but I miss my father and being on the farm. I also can't shake this longing for the west coast and my gorgeous Washington. My dream is to revisit the place where I have most of my childhood memories. Places like this.
So go outside, take a deep breath and watch as the evening makes everything just a little bit magical.
I've been thinking a lot about my past and future lately. I guess you could just say life in general. What is going on in the world scares me to death and excites me beyond belief. I'm ready to stand up and be counted as a Patriot. It's painful to admit, but I miss my father and being on the farm. I also can't shake this longing for the west coast and my gorgeous Washington. My dream is to revisit the place where I have most of my childhood memories. Places like this.
So go outside, take a deep breath and watch as the evening makes everything just a little bit magical.
Today is Wednesday. Summer is so close to coming to a close for me. This week started with an exhausted girl realizing she'd not done all the things she wanted to these past few free months. Her room was a tornado zone and her walls looked more bare than usual. Well today I spent my time cleaning that girl's room completely. Everything is in its place, ready for a new school year. There is still a small but sufficient pile of summer assignments to complete, but it's dwindling day by day. So instead of moping that things were not the way I planned this summer, I want to recap summer '09 in that obligatory manner we all love. Mostly this is for my benefit and alot of it may seem insignificant; but it's not. hehe Here's what I did:
1. Separation Day Parade with the Rev War peoples :] that's always fun....but it was sooo hot that day. June 13th
2. Made crafty things like toothbrush bracelets and cutoff shorts. 3. Went job hunting...which epically failed and left me basically penniless all summer haha4. Sent lots of fun letters to the boyscout, Lauralou and Alicia.5. Got sick way too many times for the summer. lol
6. Watched multiple movies with the family including Gran Torino and Bourne Ultimatum....plus made bubble up pizza.
7. Got mom and daughter haircuts. which were and still are adorable.
8. Declined Governor's School and missed out on what Kyle said was tons of fun...all for my precious Donegal.
9. Gave someone a nickname accidentally that stuck with people I've never met. and I have the nametag to prove it.
10. Won a game of Monopoly against Dad, Lizz, Lacey, and Robert. woot Pennsylvania Ave ftw.
11. Spent Father's Day in lovely Timonium...and missed the reunion.
12. Went to see The Proposal with Beccaroni.
13. Spent copious amounts of time at Panera getting free wifi eating asiago cheese bagels and drinking frozen caramels.
14. Ate the best peanut butter donut and sweet tea ever at Fergie's with mom on a BB's run.
15. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Billy Mayes all died. and I was less than saddened.
16. Took the Marc train to D.C.
17. Went to the Postal Museum and Natural History Museum in D.C. with my lovely glorious family. We even got a lot lost...and then found. lol good exercise.
18. Visited my birthplace...Redbank, NJ and ate at the Americana Diner...16 years later I see the places I spent my first year of life in.
19. Took Buttercup to Jose's and got scrumptious fish tacos.
20. Swam in the crik.
21. Raced boats in the crik...and was hooted/hollered at by those stupid redneck boys on the corner.
22. Played manhunt in a thunderstorm with warpainted faces.
23. Caught fireflies with Lacey.
24. Actually wanted to be given chores....gah weird.
25. Got lollipops from the lady at the bank through the chute thingymabober, we were so freaking excited.
26. Cried my eyes out, and fought. for the millionth time about the same things.
27. Watched fireworks on the 4th of july, in that dress, swinging on the swings. feeling infinite.
28. Learned how to operate a blowtorch
29. Went thrift shopping with Lacey.
30. I totally forgot this and it throws off my timeline.. But Becca's pool party ahahaah and NEWARK NITE!31. Was kicked out, not talked to, hurt, and a piece of me is gone. 32. Had foot surgery. haha ingrown nail.33. Speed packed for weeks.
34. Taught Remington the meaning of and how to play with a frisbee. (isbeefray :])
35. Spent a GRAND day at the zoo with Ashley and ate at Peace-A-Pizza.
36. Saved a monkey's life. right Ash?
37. Saw Harry Potter 6 alone.38. Caitlin's B-day party.39. Packed a sea bag!
40. CAMP DONEGAL 2009...one of the best weeks of my life. Too much emotion to describe.
41. Had my computer crash.42. BLT 2009 ....simultaneously Hell and the greatest most amazing challenge I've ever been through and loved. Alpha Company Cdr. yes!43. Rappelled, white water rafted, zip line. shooting, archery, pt. etc.
44. Spontaneously went to Salisbury for 2 weeks.45. Vistited Aunt Susan in GA. Uncle AJ in SC.
46. Ate a sno-cone with cousin friend.
47. Went fishing...twice!
48. Held Holden.
49. Drove solo for the first time...Aug 6th.
50. Started a blog. and stopped writing in my journal.
51. Took a vacation with Remington and fam.
52. Stayed in a cabin.
53. Roadtrippin'
54. Had my first official college visit to Covenant College. 55. Rock City and Lover's Leap. Cheeburger Cheeburger in Chattanooga.
56. Saw the Time Traveler's Wife with Alicia.
57. edit: Hitting up the Bi-Lo in Chattanooga for ice cream and spoons late at night. moose and squirrel tracks.58. edit: Having cherry cough syrup come out of my nose. bleh
59. edit: Saw more than one rainbow!!!!
60. edit: Drove in a bunch of different states.
61. edit: Sept 5th Cooche's Bridge REVWAR and parents 5th anniversary.62. edit: Dylan has doppelgangers.
whew that is a lot more than I thought. So all in all I had a productive summer. I crossed off 8 goals and soon to be 9 when Alicia and I bake the cupcake a treat. :] Thank you summer. Thank you friends. And thank you God the Father Almighty. Now I'm going to go watch Glenn Beck with my family.
1. Separation Day Parade with the Rev War peoples :] that's always fun....but it was sooo hot that day. June 13th
2. Made crafty things like toothbrush bracelets and cutoff shorts. 3. Went job hunting...which epically failed and left me basically penniless all summer haha4. Sent lots of fun letters to the boyscout, Lauralou and Alicia.5. Got sick way too many times for the summer. lol
6. Watched multiple movies with the family including Gran Torino and Bourne Ultimatum....plus made bubble up pizza.
7. Got mom and daughter haircuts. which were and still are adorable.
8. Declined Governor's School and missed out on what Kyle said was tons of fun...all for my precious Donegal.
9. Gave someone a nickname accidentally that stuck with people I've never met. and I have the nametag to prove it.
10. Won a game of Monopoly against Dad, Lizz, Lacey, and Robert. woot Pennsylvania Ave ftw.
11. Spent Father's Day in lovely Timonium...and missed the reunion.
12. Went to see The Proposal with Beccaroni.
13. Spent copious amounts of time at Panera getting free wifi eating asiago cheese bagels and drinking frozen caramels.
14. Ate the best peanut butter donut and sweet tea ever at Fergie's with mom on a BB's run.
15. Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Billy Mayes all died. and I was less than saddened.
16. Took the Marc train to D.C.
17. Went to the Postal Museum and Natural History Museum in D.C. with my lovely glorious family. We even got a lot lost...and then found. lol good exercise.
18. Visited my birthplace...Redbank, NJ and ate at the Americana Diner...16 years later I see the places I spent my first year of life in.
19. Took Buttercup to Jose's and got scrumptious fish tacos.
20. Swam in the crik.
21. Raced boats in the crik...and was hooted/hollered at by those stupid redneck boys on the corner.
22. Played manhunt in a thunderstorm with warpainted faces.
23. Caught fireflies with Lacey.
24. Actually wanted to be given chores....gah weird.
25. Got lollipops from the lady at the bank through the chute thingymabober, we were so freaking excited.
26. Cried my eyes out, and fought. for the millionth time about the same things.
27. Watched fireworks on the 4th of july, in that dress, swinging on the swings. feeling infinite.
28. Learned how to operate a blowtorch
29. Went thrift shopping with Lacey.
30. I totally forgot this and it throws off my timeline.. But Becca's pool party ahahaah and NEWARK NITE!31. Was kicked out, not talked to, hurt, and a piece of me is gone. 32. Had foot surgery. haha ingrown nail.33. Speed packed for weeks.
34. Taught Remington the meaning of and how to play with a frisbee. (isbeefray :])
35. Spent a GRAND day at the zoo with Ashley and ate at Peace-A-Pizza.
36. Saved a monkey's life. right Ash?
37. Saw Harry Potter 6 alone.38. Caitlin's B-day party.39. Packed a sea bag!
40. CAMP DONEGAL 2009...one of the best weeks of my life. Too much emotion to describe.
41. Had my computer crash.42. BLT 2009 ....simultaneously Hell and the greatest most amazing challenge I've ever been through and loved. Alpha Company Cdr. yes!43. Rappelled, white water rafted, zip line. shooting, archery, pt. etc.
44. Spontaneously went to Salisbury for 2 weeks.45. Vistited Aunt Susan in GA. Uncle AJ in SC.
46. Ate a sno-cone with cousin friend.
47. Went fishing...twice!
48. Held Holden.
49. Drove solo for the first time...Aug 6th.
50. Started a blog. and stopped writing in my journal.
51. Took a vacation with Remington and fam.
52. Stayed in a cabin.
53. Roadtrippin'
54. Had my first official college visit to Covenant College. 55. Rock City and Lover's Leap. Cheeburger Cheeburger in Chattanooga.
56. Saw the Time Traveler's Wife with Alicia.
57. edit: Hitting up the Bi-Lo in Chattanooga for ice cream and spoons late at night. moose and squirrel tracks.58. edit: Having cherry cough syrup come out of my nose. bleh
59. edit: Saw more than one rainbow!!!!
60. edit: Drove in a bunch of different states.
61. edit: Sept 5th Cooche's Bridge REVWAR and parents 5th anniversary.62. edit: Dylan has doppelgangers.
whew that is a lot more than I thought. So all in all I had a productive summer. I crossed off 8 goals and soon to be 9 when Alicia and I bake the cupcake a treat. :] Thank you summer. Thank you friends. And thank you God the Father Almighty. Now I'm going to go watch Glenn Beck with my family.
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