Recently, I've been having a lot of bad days. The ones that just leave a bad taste in your mouth. And today on my drive home from school and the Doctor's office, I was thinking about how days change, and moods come and go. I realized that lately whenever I'm upset I indulge. The day I came home from a summer at camp, I bought myself a dress I will probably never wear but fell in love with. On Sunday I bought things at the Harvest Moon Festival, thinking they might help ease me into the long haul before the marking period ends. I had Taco Bell for dinner last night because I felt like I had been good about organization that day. Today was terribly upsetting and I was mopey, etc. So on the way to my appointment I stopped at Happy Harry's and bought Arizona iced tea and the 25th Anniversary edition of ELLE magazine (trash magazines are great for bad days). Sitting in the car, travelling through rush hour traffic, I had my radio up super loud with the bass on all the way. At Happy Harry's I checked out with this ordinary looking guy named Derrick. There was nothing particularly special about him. But I was worried what opinion he would form about me in my Navy uniform, buying fashion mags and tea. He gave me a military discount. I told him that he made my day. He did. So being the abstract thinker I am, I started contemplating those things that make us happy in life. Pick-me-ups. Given a rotten mood, we turn to material items believing they might make us feel better. But sadness and frustration are mental, so therefore it seems reasonable to conclude that material things are only gateways to thoughts about life, which then make us happy or stay stagnant. I love watching people. They fascinate me. Today I pondered whether the red Toms or Hogwarts backpack I saw on 2 UD girls were their indulgences, and had made them happy today, like seeing them had for me. What do people notice about me that makes them smile, is their pick-me-up? So I guess the point of writing this all down is to say that, when days are bad, we SEARCH for something good. Just the same as when we don't like something/someone, there is ALWAYS something good we can find in them, even if it takes coaxing. Perception is an interesting concept, that I believe ties in directly with indulgence.
What have you indulged in lately?
Here's me:
-listening to grooveshark before school
-Doritos
-Tea and magazine
-turning the bass up on my radio
-Facebook/blogs I read regularly
-watching Glee on Hulu
-BBW Butterfly Flower perfume
-Lg. Orange Julius
-extra nachos
-afternoon snacks
Indulgence can be bad too. It can lead to routines, expenses, solitude, and creating enemies. You can probably think of your own examples. So while these simple things make me happy, sometimes I HAVE to pull myself away from them. Let me explain. Sometimes, you need just one thing to make you smile. The other day, it was bringing home a carton of fresh strawberries. But when that thing ceases to be pleasing, you fall back into the same patterns and sometimes it's detrimental to you knowing that you spent money, time, etc. on something that rots in the end. Life is moldy strawberries.
But Glee reminded me today,
God never makes mistakes. That's what I believe.
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