Resolutions: 2012

New Year's Eve is my favorite holiday of the year. Seriously (second is Thanksgiving). It gives me permission to wear so much glitter that I rival Ke$ha. It rings in my almost birthday. It's a holiday centered around tangible, visible, beautiful CHANGE. It's a free fresh start. It's a time to reminisce. It just rocks.

This year, 2012, I have resolved to
1. Not miss any classes. And read my class assignments.
2. Be the pursued, and not the pursuer to any man but Christ.
3. Use the gym and the library. I don't have an ideal number in mind, but I have an ideal physical happiness in mind. I want to stop being out of breath around campus.
4. Send more letters.
5. Don't dawdle, just go for opportunities.

2011 in retrospect:
-I was foolish and completely in love. I don't regret it at all. I have learned from it.
-I wasn't talking to my dad and it was a mess.
-I left one school and started a new one. I spoke at graduation, and fight to speak here.
-I worked in a museum! Ahhhh!
I feel like 2011 had a lot happen, but repeated a lot of lessons to my stubborn heart. I am glad for it! And happy to move into Two Thousand Twelve with a new outlook on life.

Today I went to the range with John and Robert. I shot our M4 for the first time and Kimber pistol for the first time. I love the feeling of metal heating next to my face, the blasts of the bullets being dulled by ear protection. I love shooting. Here's to a NEW YEAR!!!

DMA

 

The inside of my shadow box (just have to go buy the box). Huzzah for preservation of memories. 

Mona Lisa Smile

All the reasons why I study art, history, and people. All the reasons why art history matters. Julia Roberts, Julia Stiles, Kirsten Dunst. What more could you ask for in a film?Watch it and you'll understand why I see myself in Santa Fe this summer. Or in Greenville or Chattanooga later. I just have to be brave. I just have to apply. Do it, learn from it, grow myself. All I know is that I want more than anything to love on people through the things I have learned. I want them to know they are beautiful, and they can see things how they want, as they are, and without lies. "She's smiling. Is she happy?" Mona Lisa, you wonderful mystery.

The embarrasing ways I spend my afternoons...

Chloe and I were very productive today. We painted her entire room the prettiest pale pink color. It needed two coats; so in between the coats we had a little fun. I found these tattoos at JCP for $1.97 and thought she would enjoy them a lot. I took the alligator, she took the tiger. Madness ensued. Too many paint fumes were beginning to asphyxiate us.

 

Then Chloe made me a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. That, among many other things is why she's one of my greatest friends. Yum. Chloe dear, you are beautiful and I love you. Stay strong my darling.

Simple Comforts

Yankee Candle is having their after Christmas sale. Fall and Winter scents are 50-75% off. This was just the chance I needed to experiment a bit. I got 2 warming tarts for $1 each, one in Midsummer's Night and the other in Cafe Au Lat. I have had these little metal clasp jars in my room forever and I just knew they'd come in handy for something special, someday. I broke the tarts into thirds (they kind of crumble though because they are made of small wax beads) and placed them into the jars, stuck the labels on so I could identify the name of the scents to others. Now I can easily take them to school and warm them in my dorm room! I also got a sampler candle called Nature's Paintbrush for $1 and it is probably my new favorite scent from Yankee. For now, the candles decorate my recently cleaned and organized smaller bookshelf. I consolidated the vases of dried flowers in my room into a big one and placed them next to a painted mason jar of fake flowers. Simple. Comforting. :)

Cut flowers die and preserve beautifully in the air. Those daisies are from last Spring (Dylan's house), the rose is from last December (upon acceptance from Covenant courtesy of JT and Mom), and the carnations are from probably May of this year (surprise at work from DKS). I love dried flowers in my room.

Merry Christmas!

Les points d'interrogation

The Google translate version of "Question marks" in French. Thus will be the title of a new type of post. Posts with this title will be the wondering curiosities of my brain. Aloof, often morbid, and potentially romantically existential. So let's just start into it... this is what I was pondering at the dinner table tonight:

1. How do Jewish people feel when all the stores are closed on Christmas? Or the Muslims, Hindus, etc. for that matter? Robert says they eat Chinese food. I wish I thought of point blank answers like that.
2. What is the proper response to receiving a gift? Especially if you didn't think to get them anything. -"Thank you." (yields awkward silence). -"You shouldn't have." (implies you may not want a gift next year. and of course you want a gift next year). -"It's just what I wanted!" (but really it is not even close and you wonder if they even know you at all). I never have the right answer, in my head. The Peanuts book Christian got me has an answer for the issue of compliments but not presents. It says, "When you get a compliment, all you have to say is, 'Thank you.'"
3. Do people really meet their soul mates in coffee shops? This is a broader question than it seems. What I mean is, can someone working behind the counter at any store be captivating enough that you feel the urge (provoked?) to ask them out/ further the conversation after checkout/ give them your number. Who does that? Landon Pigg's song "Falling In Love At a Coffee Shop" is incredibly beautiful, but doesn't it take more than one glance? We can't all be "Taylor the Latte Boy".
4. Am I the only one who runs up stairs with a hand on my hip, opposite arms outstretched, with a determined look on my face? I'm being a superhero. Duh.

How to Make an American Quilt

learning lessons from movies. It's a good thing to have, the theater. We can learn lessons from people and characters that aren't in tangible existence in our own lives. I'm a vicarious Winona Ryder.

Young lovers seek perfection.
Old lovers learn the art of sewing shreds together
and of seeing beauty in a multiplicity of patches.

Staying up late at night and crossing off movies on my "to watch" list is a wonderful way to spend my time. I can hear the rain pattering against my window over the dialogue of the film, and it is comforting. I love this movie. Each story is its own. Each lesson unique. Where love resides: a heart. A human, beating, broken heart.

As Anna says about making a quilt,
you have to choose your combination carefully.
The right choices will enhance your quilt.
The wrong choices will dull the colors,  hide their original beauty.
There are no rules you can follow.
You have to go by your instinct.
And you have to be brave.  

Wisdom comes through failure and perseverance.

John 8:1-11

¹ but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.

   ² At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. ³ The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴ and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵ In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” ⁶ They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

   But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷ When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” ⁸ Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

   ⁹ At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰ Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

   ¹¹ “No one, sir,” she said.

   “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

 Do not condemn those you see in sin, for you are also in sin. Love them as Jesus loved us, without condemnation or hate. Seeing this, leave the life of sin you lead, for you have escaped certain death at the hands of the world, under an assault of heavy stones. 

Say that you love me in your last goodbye

Hold me closer one more time,
Say that you love me in your last goodbye,
Please forgive me for my sins,
Yes, I swam dirty waters,
But you pushed me in,
I've seen your face under every sky,
Over every border and on every line,
You know my heart more than I do,
We were the greatest, me and you,

But we had time against us,
And miles between us,
The heavens cried,
I know I left you speechless

I'd echo Adele's opening lyrics with one word, and then finish the song: CLOSURE.
Hearing that you're over me helped me be over you. Face-to-face we laid it out. It feels good to have this weight lifted from my chest.
I knew this break would be hard, but I feel like I'm getting the hard stuff out of the way early and God will let me rest before next semester. I am steadfast in my faith and obedience. As quietly and courageously as possible, I have faced DKS, will see Dad tomorrow, and saw Sean and Christian as well as made plans for Alicia tomorrow.
Time heals all wounds. Faith makes the time sweeter.