Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Day 20: Tuesday

is boring.
I'm sad that I can't find anything to write about.
I am exhausted. Extremely exhausted.
Drill practice was really funny today. English class was too. We talked about eating chocolate, singing You're So Vain on karaoke, and punching people....and somehow related it all back to Hamlet.
Ah, Shakespeare, how I love thee.

Sent:
LC Finish w name

Monday, April 19, 2010

Day 19: Busy Bee

I have practice every day this week.
In history class we learned two valuable lessons: a) Don't live in cities. b) Don't marry dictators.
I flit from project to project too quickly....Still haven't finished editing the video and now I am making a drawing for Lauren O'Connell's t-shirt contest. (This is avoiding homework). I have junioritis...Is that possible?
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I'm getting antsy waiting for Amy to call me about Donegal. I'm really frightened I won't get the job

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Day 18: Brilliance

Well I definitely wrote a long nice blog (last night...today) and Xanga didn't save it, so I am writing this one on the 19th.
Anyway, I woke up and got ready for a conference with the AAUW (American Assosiaction of University Women) for an award in math and science (best female junior in those subjects blah blah blah). The lunch was really good...the speakers not so much. We had these amazing sandwiches that had cranberry spread and turkey on them, and then vegetarian ones with blue cheese and cucumbers and tomatoes on ciabata bread. Yum. I, needless to say, snuck one out the door. I sat next to this really nice girl named Christina. The conference lasted an uncanny 3 hours.

Once I finally got home and changed, my brother and I started to work on this amazing project video. Well, I was just bored and it is my brain child. It's top secret cause I didn't finish yet. But here are the best pictures from working on it:

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I also decided to go to youth group for the first time. After my brother abandoned me to play basketball, the girls came to talk to me. It makes me hopeful for possible friendships because I actually had a lot of fun. :) Really if I'm being honest, I only went there to see if there were any hot guys.....because being single my entire life has caused this to be the ONLY thing I think about anymore. It sucks.
Anyway, that was my Sunday. Daytona is so close and I can't wait.
I've decided to not write anything while I am there. I might jot some notes down on a pad of paper, but I need to live life, not live through a computer screen trying to capture moments in the past. I need to live in the present. I need this trip.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Day 17: The Perks of Being a Twin

Today was beyond amazing. Woke up early to garden (and took my aggression out with the hoe). Went to the coin drop for drill team (boring). But then! Then! Then, mom and John went to dinner so Robert and I were allowed to take the car and went to Main Street, which will always be the best part of my town. We ate calzones at D.P. Dough mmmm. Called Alicia and she met us. We went to Peace a Pizza (best pizza around) and she had dinner. Next door at Rainbow (our independent bookstore) a band was playing a show and we tried to get in, spontaneously, but the crowd was out the door. They were the Freelance Whales....and they ROCK! So after that we walked to TCBY and had white mocha mouse yogurt....mmmmm. Went back to the then clearing out Rainbow and snagged a ton of free posters that they were going to throw away. Among them were Mutemath, Modest Mouse, John Mayer, Regina Spektor, Say Anything, Willie Nelson, etc. I have a stack now :) So happy. We also grabbed a free CD demo (sometimes bands leave them there to take and I always pick one up). It's a band called Victory Shoes. They're decent enough for me to keep the CD. Good for an indie band.
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I've been surfing stumbleupon and finding some incredible stuff. (New obsession).
My brother showed me this band and this song describes me so well.
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I love my twin so much. He'll tell me I'm pretty when I feel like I should drop off the Earth. He'll listen to my rants and give me honest opinions. He understands my love of all things weird. He gets the political cartoon on my shirt, and uses words like adorable. He always has the best words, facts, and shenanigans. I couldn't get by without this soulmate of mine.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Day 16: Some thoughts

There are times in life when all you want to do is sleep. When nothing you say or do will be good enough. Where making the least awful decision in a no win situation still feels like failing someone. But is sleeping that "bitter form of refuge". Am I supposed to portray the hero that I can't find inside but people expect from me? It's so confusing, this thing we call living. It's not really living, because we're all dying.

Have you ever listened to something so beautiful (or maybe seen something) that all you want to do is lay there, sit there, BE there experiencing it in the moment you go comatose from passion, and then you want to discover more about this wonderful newness. That happens to me a lot. Today it was coming home from a pretty crummy day and discovering Olafur Arnalds. I'm entranced.
Things aren't going too great. My room is slowly becoming demolished again, because that's what happens when you never get 100% done, and are always in the process of organizing, and then have to go to god awful school for the week. My teachers expect work work work, and then I get to come home to be told I don't work enough, that my weekend should start with waking up at 6 and working until dinner, and fitting relaxation in there somewhere because "everyone works the same amount except you. You never do anything."
I can't wait to escape Delaware. It scares me, because I have no money or job or place to stay if I leave home, but I crave it like no tomorrow.

I want to learn how to play the cello. I want to get my violin fixed (I need new strings and a bow). I hope my friend gives me the Batman guitar he was talking about earlier this week, because then Colin can maybe help me learn some more this summer. Maybe I will just borrow my brother's that he never plays.
It's raining again.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 15: The Rumblies That Only

I like reading Ayn Rand books.
I came home from school today, changed, turned on some Ben Folds, and fell asleep for 3 hours.
My mommy brought me up some Mac&Cheese.
Then I slept more, finished calc homework and hobbled down the stairs.
Braveheart was on TV. I love that movie.
Mommy took good care of me and medicated me and fed me more.
I think pianists are hot.
Vocab homework is lame.
Today I took the most grammatically/ unproofread test in the world. Who could be so dumb.
Summer needs to be here.
No one has returned my emails/applications/calls for employment. I feel like applying anywhere else is a waste.
I leave for Daytona, Fl in 2 weeks. Yay
I miss Laura, and Colin, and Dani, and Camp. (and blue juice)
They stopped selling sodas at school and traded for this new carbonated fruit juice.
Taibo really does work all your muscles. Ugh ouch.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day 14: Achey Thighs

Meaning, we did some Taibo stuff in gym class yesterday and man was that a workout. "You're snowboarding down a hill! Now switch!" "And punch the air". I guess it just goes to show that I never work those muscles, and I really should.
I drove to school today because I had a doctor's appointment after. It was nice....I could get used to that. But the bus is free. And Free=better. :)
Also, I think my Prom troubles and woes have been solved. I am going to buy an After Prom ticket for 20$ and go to that after a nice dinner with my couple friends Kelsey and John, who are also inviting DK. remember him? Well I could have sworn a few months ago that by now he'd have thought I was likeable enough to take to prom. But he's decided that senior prom is going to be boring and he "has no one to ask". Well well. Oh well. I even had a dress... but I guess next year is my year. Too bad.
Maybe it's just me, but I have this fascination with telling people they are beautiful. I feel like it's not said enough. In this era, so much is placed on how we look and what we wear, so we spend hours making ourselves up, cutting our hair, trying on outfits etc. and for what? Self satisfaction? I don't care if you think I'm pretty. But if you do, maybe you should tell me. I LOVE telling people (and really meaning it) that they are lovely and gorgeous and handsome and that I appreciate all the work they put into their appearance because it means something to them, and it show that they do think about their presentation. Even on your off days, you're naturally stunning. So I write these anonymous notes everywhere telling people. Yesterday was the bus window that was foggy. It's backwards (so the other cars can read it) but it says "You're beautiful and loved."
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Anywho. I've been devouring Julia Nunes music lately and I love these lyrics:
"Near the gummi bears that your mom left out
I found a piece of you, under the desk
Near the cross word that you never finished
I believe in something, that's looking down
And you've watched that something smash my face into the ground
And I was convinced that there was nothing left to put me through
Until I thought that I might lose you" from I Think You Know
"Sometimes I wish that I was taller
Like at concerts when I can't see
But mostly I wish that I was smaller
To traverse the earth amongst gigantic feet
...
I've grown a paranoia that will certainly destroy ya
if you stick around and watch me fall to my doom" from Grown a Pair
But you should definitely check her out if you haven't already.
I watched the new Glee episode on Hulu tonight because I am addicted to that show and I cracked up when Sue talked about Japanese Sapuku, because Mr. Scarborough fake demonstrated it and it was hilarious. I also just like knowing things from history that I learned in class before I see them in Pop culture. It makes me admire sitcom writers just a tad more.
That's all for now butterfly, see you soonish ( or haha the blog tomorrow)

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 13: Bloomability

If there is one thing in this world that I HATE it's those Cracker Barrel bottled hair color, tattooed up, bratty, teenage, wannabe cutesy, freak of nature waitresses that have claimed my grandpa as their own little toy dolly. 88 year old vets should not be called "Hot Messes" and have their hair played with by stupid little wenches in front of his granddaughter. Ugh. Rantover,sorrythanks.
Today was rainy, but you knew that.
People reacted to my hair very very well today.
Walk home:
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Favorite song lyrics this week: "Cause if you're gone then I'm gone, whatever road you are on, I know we'll survive; just as long just as long as you drive." Julia Nunes- I Think You Know
If there is one thing in this world that I LOVE it's those pretty little words that fit together so nicely I can't even imagine why they make the most perfect sense to me at the moment, the things my friends say and write and laugh at, and SING. People should appreciate language more than they do and they should appreciate people's appreciation of the things they hear. It means that they listen. Which is invaluable.
I just started bawling. Today was great day. I don't know why I'm laying here draining my eyes of all the salinated liquid in my body, but I can't stop. It reminds me of that night at Trailblazers. I don't even have an answer for what's wrong. Sometimes people just need to cry, and I think this has been built up for the past few months. Now my mom is angry with me because of it. It's always a one way street the way she sees things.
Driving to school tomorrow. Doctor's appointment.
Also, Icebreaker's Peach Iced Tea flavor are ohemgeesoamazingyum

Monday, April 12, 2010

Day 12: Spontaneity

Writing everyday is becoming draining. Especially when I don't ever start until 9 pm.
I chopped off all my hair today....well actually Linda, a professional did. But this is something I have been wavering for a long time. I used to have super short hair and I let it grow out. Now it's extra short and cute again. It will be weird not having to put it up in the morning tomorrow....extremely weird. I might actually have an extra five minutes in the morning.
School wasn't terrible today... actually I had a wonderful day.
Our game of Assassin started and I drew paper mushrooms to kill my target, and put them in his pretzel wrapper. He died. So many other people were killed off in the first few hours of the game. But at least I have survived so far. I'm going to be extremely paranoid for a while now. haha.
Drill practice was a waste of time as always, BUT I leave for Daytona Beach in 17 days. Hooray!
Well, longer letter later I guess. I'm SUCH a slacker. toodalooo

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Day 11: Comatose

Wake up: 11 am
Breakfast: Ramen noodles and Hawaiian roll
Objective: Be quiet and stay out of mom's way so she feels better
Activity: watch Valentine's Day on your computer
Hope: to go back to school wholey new
Despair: you're 17, don't have a car or job or money and it's 6pm
Misfortune: not getting my hair cut
General emotion: varied, mainly sulky
Outfit: Something horrid that makes you look like a turquoise splattered banana
Time spent on computer: TOO much
Dinner: Chinese food and dark chocolate Reese's and Root Beer
Miles driven: < 1
Cleaning progress made: 0%
Emails written: 4
Jobs applied for: 1
Homework done: none (sheesh)
Bedtime: whenever I finish this stupid book
Days left of break: none zero zilch nada nunca


Hi, my name is Sam.